He’s just a regular dude!

Three friends:Jolly,Kajrie and Meherban; 2 other girls, one of them extremely hot, the other one even hotter.

Setting: The ticket queue.

Jolly: Man this movie is gonna be so awesome. Its got a bikini clad girl and her mom’s cleavage, and 2 angry guys who cant act. Its gonne be so much fun!

Meherban: Yeah man. I heard its a sleazefest straight out of a major pervert’s dirty brain. Or crotch. Hehe.

Kajrie: Fuckers, you are out with a girl! Now zip up and get the fucking tickets.

Meherban: Yeah man, zip up now cos u’ll have to unzip when the awesome whores shake their hoohoos in your face. Haha.

Kajrie: God, I am gonna kill you  bastards. They are respectable real women, just playing a role for the movie.

Jolly: And I wanna do them.

Kajrie: I am leaving

Meherban: Hey dude, we were just kidding. I dont even have a zip, its a 501!

Jolly: And I am in my boxers. (To himself): I knew I forgot something.

Kajrie leaves, followed hastily by the boxer boy. Meherban stays in the queue.

Meherban (To Stranger No.1):Meherban.

St1. :What?

Meherban: Mmmeherban

St1.:Fuck off, loser.

Meherban(Quizically): What? Thats my name!

St2. And your dad must be loser’s father?

Meherban: Al-Meherban

St1. : Damn! He’s a terrorist!

St2.: He just said he is  from Al-Qeda.

Meherban: No you bimbos, my name is Meherban, my dad is Al-Meherban

St1: See? Now he is threatening us!

Tarzan(Appearing out of thin air):Who is troubling you sweetheart?

St1.: This guy. He is a terrorist. He has a beard and a name tough to spell.

Tarzan(On the phone): Hello!100? I have noticed suspicious individuals in the queue for movie tickets for a sleazefest directed by a miserable pervert. Its quite possible one of them is carrying a hidden bomb in his shirt. He seems to have an unusually large chest. Compared to mine, anyway.

Meherban(Shouting desperately): Jolly, help me! He has called the fucking cops!

Tarzan(On the phone): Did you listen to that? He just called you fucks. Okay, I will inform the multiplex security, and get them to issue a bomb alert. (Pause). Okay, I will personally make sure this terrorist and his accomplices stay here  till you arrive.

Jolly: What the fuck happened man? Why are you shouting like an intelligent investor in October 2008?

Meherban: Dude this guy just called the cops and told them we are terrorists.

Kajrie: Hey, himbo, dude, these guys are perverts, not terrorists!

Tarzan: So you are the human bomb? Dhanu ishtyle?

Kajrie: Fuck you moron!

—–

At the station:

Cop1: Ids.

Cop2: Of course they have ids. They have at least 2 or 3 ids. Their organisation forges ids.

Sleepy Cop: Just make sure you divide the kill with me. Yawn.

Cop1: Its a matter of national security. This guy has a beard and a name tough to spell.

Cop2: Yeah. We shall uphold justice.

Kajrie: My mom will uphold you two by the balls. I want my phone call.

Sleepy Cop: Just let em go. Make sure you divide the kill with me. Yawn.

Cop2: No phone calls. TADA.

Kajrie: TADA was scrapped you ass. I want my phone call.

Meherban: Here, use my cell.

Cop1: Detonator!! He has a detonator!

Cop2 flies through the air,Meherban steps aside , Cop2 bangs his head against a table corner and bleeds to death.

Cop1 (On the phone): These are deadly fuckers, Saheb! They killed Cop2 without even hitting him! (Pause). Encounter? Ji saheb!

Sleepy Cop:Make sure you divide the kill with me. Yawn.

Cop1: Wake up, sleepydick, we got to kill these bastards in a fake encounter to preserve national security and police brutality.

Meherban: Why am I recording all of this on my wonderful smuggled iphone?

Kajrie: Because we are going to use this to fucking jail these bastards.

Kajrie’s mom, the lady in white, arrives.

K.M: Beta! I told you not to do ecstasy!

Kajrie: Shut the fuck up,Mom. These morons think we are terrorists. They want to kill us in an encounter.

K.M: What? Who’s incharge here.

Sleepy Cop: He is lying there sleeping peacefully. In a pool of blood. Meherban the terrorist killed him without even lifting his finger. Yawn.

K.M. : How could you, Mmmmeher!

Kajrie: The moron banged his head and died. We have the video.

K.M.(Watching the video): Nice phone, Mmmmeher.

Meherban: Thanks, Kajrie’s mom. What you doing tonight?

Kajrie: Rescuing us, moron!

Meherban(To Kajrie’s mom): Mmmmeherban.

Kajrie:Meher! She’s your mom’s age!

K.M.: Yeah, but I am divorced and available. And an extremely hot MHLF (Mother HE would ….).

Kajrie: Kill me.

Sleepy Cop: The shift’s over. Ask the other guys who come in the next shift.

Cop1: Adios. Shift’s over.

Jolly(Busy collecting ids and information taken by the cops): Lets run!

All of them(running): And justice is upheld!

Cop2:(Silence)

Meherban and Kajrie’s mom:Mmmmmmmmmmmmmmm

Kajrie: Somebody, please kill me!

Jolly(Operating Meher’s wonderful smuggled iphone’s camera) : A little to the right, Meher, I cant get her cleavage from this angle in this wonderful smuggled iphone.

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